I did it again today, I got all weird about my belief in how awesome I am. Do you ever do that? Doubt your current abilities to have and do just exactly what you want? Start talking crappy stuff to yourself in a whisper that no one else can hear but YOU?
Yep, I get it.
It happens to me when I am in a phase of pushing myself forward and into a new area of personal upleveling.
What about you?
Maybe you haven’t really gotten the stellar results from your clients, career or life that you wanted YET. So, you might feel like you’re a fake, nobody special or fear that the end is coming too soon and you’ll be forgotten.
What feels even harder is deep inside you don’t feel you have accomplished enough or helped enough people or got to experience in the outside life what you pulls on your heart and soul. So how’s a woman supposed to keep putting herself out there when the TRUTH you want to believe about yourself is not showing up as truth yet?
I know. I know.
This is why I chose to be a Success Coach for women.
The truth is, you feel like a fake because you don’t believe in yourself completely and that a vicous cycle of the continual berating your self-esteem has gotten.
Over the past few years your life or career aspirations may have moved slowly or not at all. You know tons of stuff but it doesn’t seem to be working for you right now.
Lack of results or inconsistent results can take a toll on a spiritual woman like you.
What’s even worse is that it can also prevent you from showing up as the leader that you know you are deep inside.
It’s very important to understand where this feeling like a fake or living in fear of what will become of you or the feeling forgotten thing comes from and how you can get rid of it ASAP, or at least replace it with another belief that is more powerful, based on REAL proof, to take its place.
It’s normal to keep getting the results we don’t want when we don’t have the results that we DO want.
Mainly because we don’t believe that it’s possible… and that sometimes will translate on us creating more of the same circumstances that lead to the same results.
Every heard that story of a fly that kept banging its head against the window glass when 2 feet away was an open door?
Crazy.
Sometimes we do the same thing. We don’t know what we don’t know and it leads to a lot of head banging, painful bumps and bruises and our business’ or life joy takes a nose dive.
Nothing and I really mean NOTHING will move until something changes to break the cycle-regardless of what you are told to go out there and DO NEXT.
And focusing on your lack of results is not the answer and it’s not about the results, but about who you’re BEING!
So for simplicity’s sake, here are 3 easy steps to get you there darrrrrrrrling! This is how you can stop feeling like a fake or with a fear of being forgotten, etc….
1. Understand where this feeling comes from so you can shift the disbelief into BELIEF and start getting a different result. Otherwise you will stay trapped in a prison of your own making.
2. Find the results that you already had. They are hiding in plain sight but maybe you can’t see them from the place (and mindset) that you are looking.
3. Take a different action. Have a proven, tested strategy you can implement quickly to get results. The longer you wait, the harder it is!
YOU have to break the cycle! It’s your responsibility.
You can’t operate from this place of disbelief and expect a successful business or life. It just doesn’t happen!
You can do this, you really can – please just ask yourself "what am I waiting for?"
I work with women who are in a transition – where the life they are living is not the one they want. They are ready to find that deeper purpose, change careers, advance a business, or make significant relationship changes….
The desires we have for our life and what we do in our life are so closely related and deeply impact each other.
Below is a great list of topics that can be covered in our coaching experience – some specifics are for women on an entrepreneur path and others are for most career and lifestyle change.
- Uncovering a Deep Felt Compelling Vision
- Commitment to You & Engage More Powerfully
- Transform Who You're Being
- Overcoming Fears, Obstacles and Perceived Limitations
- Create Your Goals, Milestones, Strategies, and Action Plan
- Using Spiritual Modalities in Life or Business
- Understanding and Identifying the Strength in your Feminine Power
- Building Relationships
- Time Mastery
- Increasing Productivity and the 80-20 Rule
- Clarifying Your Niche and Marketing Plan
- Designing Your Business Model
- Stages of Sales + Marketing & Improving Retention
- Design Consultations
- Attracting Prospects and Building Your List
Empower the Dream is where you can bring forth your unrealized desires and make them a reality in your life.
This is how to get started.
Teresa Salhi
Theresa, I really resonate with your core 3 tips.I can see how easy it is to allow disbelief to become reality. It’s a simple but effective process to switch into belief, pull from past experience and have another stragtegy. Sound advice.
Thank you Joyce. 🙂
Excellent advice Teresa! I’m not a spiritual person, but I don’t believe that is a requisite to qualify for occasional feelings of inadequacy. It really comes down to expectations doesn’t it? It’s great to have high expectations and dreams for yourself, but we have to balance that with a dose of realism about how long it takes to accomplish things.
What I always tell my clients is having realistic expectations doesn’t mean dreaming smaller, it just means planning better! Thanks for the inspiration. 🙂
Teresa – I love your statement: You can’t operate from this place of disbelief and expect a successful business or life. It just doesn’t happen!
I remember many years ago when Oprah Winfrey was being sued by some meat producers & she hired Dr. Phil to help her through it. (This helped him climb to his current fame). One of the first things he told her was that if she were in a restaurant and someone started beating on her, it simply wouldn’t do to stand in disbelief and expect things to turn out well. She needed to claim her own life and fight back. The same thing applied to her standing up for herself in court. Sound advice! Sometimes we even have to fight off the negative scoundrel in our minds.
Thank you Joan. I speak for all of us and we are here to support each other.
Wow.. that is amazing.. good on you. I wish I had that feeling/belief… not yet, but getting there.
You are amazing and talented Kristen.
Thanks Kristen. I believe in you too!
“You have a break the cycle. It’s your responsibility” – I love that. It’s so easy to let the voice of self doubt hold you back. This is a great reminder not to let fear take charge.
Thank you Tami, I am glad you liked the article. 🙂
Thanks so much Teresa for reminding me that I am awesome and that I can achieve anything no matter what anyone says. I am the one to make it happen 😉 Great post!!
You are very welcome Joan!
I learned how to stand sovereign in the place I’ve planted my flag by owning the truth that if I’m a step or three further down the path than the woman behind me, I have a thing or three to teach her. The Imposter syndrome still sneaks up on me now and then, but I’ve learned that the medicine is equal doses of humility and ownership of what I’ve got.
Beautifully said Sue.
Yes at times I feel like, really why would someone trust me to be their health coach, but with prayer and keeping my mission in mind, I am able to see the great value I can add to someone’s life. I have been there and done it and got training. I know what i am doing. Thanks so much for the reminder.
A woman on a mission is a force to behold – let us move forward and make the difference we came here to make Karen!
For me, breaking that impostor mentality came by acknowledging who God made me to be in Christ. Until then, I always felt not good enough and a pretender, a poser. Since my identity is now firmly based in Christ, I am free to be who I really am and that’s a wonderful feeling!
So beautiful Carol 🙂
There is a book I just recently heard about called “The Impostor Syndrome”by Harold HIllman, which I believe Jackie is also referring to in her comment. I think all of us will feel this at times, and as Steven Pressfield in his book “The War of Art” calls it “resistance”. The closer we get to something we want, the louder our voice of resistance becomes. It is important to be able to stand back and witness where it comes from so that we can flip the switch and create a new belief that helps us to move forward. It may take practice, as I also am not someone who loves the “fake it till you make it” mentality. I prefer to visualize it as already happening! Also deconstructing it to see where the untruth is, is helpful, allowing us to move forward to create something new for ourselves.
The voice of resistance can be very loud indeed – and very empowering when we understand that it is just a stepping stone into our greatness. Love it Beverley.
There is a real thing called Imposter Syndrome which women, in particular, fall into. It’s an awful downward spiral. My coach told me she hated the “fake it till you make it” mentality, but there’s a lot to be said for acting “as if” until it becomes natural.
Yes, I use a special process around fake it till you make it mentality – sounds great but there is a process to engage first that will make it more worthwhile and quicker to get desired results. Thanks for being here Jackie.
Self-doubt is so easy when you have no one to talk to. That’s why someone like you are in business. Women need a sounding board and caring words to work past this. It really helps a great deal. Thanks for sharing.
Yes, thank you Sabrina, we all have our teacher and student roles and that is why we sometimes seek support and other times offer support. There is no reason we should allow ourselves to be without someone to talk too. Sometimes a close friend is good and other times a close friend may not be the right person as they will sometimes limit our perspective and growth – not intentionally – but because they are only see us where we have come from vs. where we are trying to go. A coach is there to be the one in the gap with the client as the sounding board, cheerleader, visionary and what-the-heck-do-I-do-next-goal-helper…!
Falling into the trap of self-doubt happens to all of us. It must be part of the human condition. Love how you identify it so women can recognize it and know they are not alone. Your tips are right on and what I’ve seen for myself when I was in disbelief, is that I made something that did or didn’t happen mean something. I collapsed things on top of each other & made that so strong, it felt like the truth. Once uncollapsed, I could move onto your steps 2 & 3.
Thank you Roslyn for the comments and confirmation of the cycle – and congrats on getting past it and moving on….that is our goal and it can happen for sure!
Now this is literally what I was just talking about with someone. Thank you so much because I am currently in that cycle. This is what I needed.
Right on Renee! You go girl!
Great tips, Teresa! It’s funny–I JUST got off the phone with a good friend/entrepreneur who has laid the most amazing foundation for her biz over the last year. And she was falling right into this trap. The what if this doesn’t work? What if, what if, what if . . . And she knows better!
I simply reminded her to keep her focus on what she does want, to take steps toward it.
Your 3 tips are perfect–I’ll send her here to read them!
Ah, I love the timing of how we weave in and of of support for each other. Yes, please share and keep being a great friend…you rock Susan!