Dealing with Guilt After an Unsuccessful Relationship

Breaking up from a relationship can be very emotional but you can avoid guilt in these ways…

Break-up is a situation that we have all experienced at one point. It is quite normal to feel hurt, sad and disappointed, however, some people go through a much bigger trauma. This state can lead to depression and dysfunctional behaviors like eating disorders or substance abuse. There are, however, successful ways of dealing with this and you can find them in the following text.

Dealing with the guilt of hurting another person

When breaking up, in most cases, it is just the one party that wants to finish the relationship, and that person is normally considered the bad guy. However, our perception of it is totally wrong. A lot of people stay in a relationship because they are afraid to hurt the other person or are afraid of the way they are going to react to it. In these situations, it is important to understand that you are not to blame for feeling a certain way. Your partner may be hurt and sad, and it is up to you to do it in a nice way, without hurting them with your words or actions. However, you can’t be responsible for the feelings of the other person after a break-up. And you shouldn’t stay with someone just so that you don’t hurt them because that way you are hurting yourself, and just prolonging the inevitable. Once you understand this, you will not feel guilty for feeling a certain way.

Don’t let your life stop

Unsuccessful relationships also happen to people who have children. This can be pretty difficult because you can’t be selfish and take some time to grieve and feel bad. You have to be present in your child’s life even then. One important thing to bear in mind is keeping an eye on their education because that is a critical period in their lives when they too need support. There are many support groups that can help you by providing information about your child’s progress in school and all the other information you need, so you can make sure you won’t forget anything. After all, you can even find comfort in your children, and feel better by actively being in their lives in a period that is hard for you.

Allow yourself to feel happy

Normally, when talking about feelings after a break-up, we rarely hear happiness. However, if you are the one who broke up, chances are you will not feel as broken as the other person. Remember that this isn’t something you should feel guilty for. The reason why you ended it, is not important, but you shouldn’t suppress your feelings just so that the other person feels less hurt. You are not the bad guy for breaking up because, in the long run, it would have been even worse to have a relationship full of lies. Of course, you shouldn’t flaunt your happiness in front of your former partner, but if that is how you feel, embrace it, and understand that you are doing what is best for you, and ultimately for them as well. In the end, you fall in and out of love, it is what life is about.

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Know your limits and respect them

Every relationship has its ups and downs, and yours did too. You have probably been through at least one big fight and decided to stay together and try to work things out. But after a few attempts, you may realize it doesn’t work, and that is quite alright. Don’t feel like you are a quitter and like you have an obligation to stay even if you don’t feel like it. You can put a number on how many tries to give, however, know your limit, and if you feel tired and like you don’t want to continue, know you are doing the right thing by breaking up. Love, and desire to work things out should come from both sides, so if only one person is trying, it is already not a good sign.

It is inevitable that every break-up will leave a bitter taste in your mouth. Also, there will be a healing period even if you are the one who’s leaving. However, you can’t let feelings of guilt get in the way of your life. There are always things to make you feel happy and thankful whether they are your kids or anything else that’s positive in your life.