"What do you need to make you happy? What are the ingredients you require?” A question I asked one of my girlfriends recently. Her answer? A beautiful, blank smile with a shrug of her shoulders.
She had no idea what she wanted or what she associated with happiness or pleasure. That was me at one point too.
What about you? Do you know what gives you pleasure and makes you happy? Think about it for a minute. What is happiness for you?
- Do you associate it with a feeling?
- Or is it the capacity to love without fear?
- Do you associate happiness and pleasure with things or people?
- Do you expect someone else to make you happy?
Are these questions a bit difficult to answer – as they were for my friend? I’ve been wondering if finding or understanding happiness should really be so difficult. What does it say about us when our society requires a library full of books on happiness – and yet many of us are unable to articulate our personal expressions of what happiness is.
Maybe this so called search for happiness is not the real issue. Maybe we are finding the ingredients of happiness difficult to articulate, to achieve and to sustain because we have somehow become at odds with this force of nature. Isn't it supposed to be organic and with a flow of blissful, natural energy?
I have learned and sometimes even painfully – that the quality of life is in direct proportion to your commitment to it. It is not an advanced level of intelligence that is required to attract a higher state of joy but rather it is simply to develop the disciplines that will guide your transformation, you can learn to use the power within you to attract and be all that you deserve and imagine.
The truth is being a woman of joy is not complicated. It may not be easy for some – however it is simple. It merely takes understanding, awareness, practice and movement in the direction toward it. The reason that some of us think that acquiring more pleasure in our lives is difficult is because it is has become a habitual belief. It is what we have been taught to believe. Whether you believe it right now or not or have ever experienced abundant joy, you must at least consider this -happiness and joy are your birthright – you were born happy. It has only been thru experiences since birth that you may have been swayed away from your birthright of joy and of your truth.
Yet we are not all living currently from this state and we are living in a society that is focused on something quite the opposite. Many people have dedicated themselves to examining women’s problems and although there is a place for therapists, weight loss centers, debt counselors and so forth – there is just too much focusing on our unhappiness.
I invite you to refrain from getting sucked into the unhappy syndrome that is smothered all over the media and rather let this be your time to anchor in a new belief, intention and commitment. One of loving the life you have and extracting out every juicy drop of sweetness.
Consider these common scenarios that we often experience:
- Feel like life is passing you by?
- Pour time and energy into making others happy, but rarely have any energy left over for you?
- Continue to wait for your knight in shining armour to save you?
- Hear that life is about passion but most days you barely have enough passion to get out of bed?
- Have the idea that fun is watching the next episode of Bachelorette?
- Feel bored to death with your job but don’t have the confidence to go out and find a new one?
- Confuse achieving goals with receiving joy?
- Quietly meditate and Ohmmm through a spiritual practice and forget that you could also be dancing, celebrating, laughing?
- Sometimes avoid looking in the mirror?
If any of this is familiar, welcome to the territory.
Every new experience confronts us with choices, and our everyday choices are no exception. If you choose the path of least resistance – as in a lazy way – then you will continue on a course that can be self-destructive. And you will grow old with little grace and little joy.
But if you claim for yourself another possibility, as with anything else, you open the door for amazing opportunities to show up. There is a way with little resistance, yes a way that isn’t laziness but eagerness and it is inviting you to flow into the life you are secretly yearning. We can live our lives either responding to our circumstance or taking an active role and create it with some real passion – life does get better, in fact it can go beyond better – it can be downright delicious!
Set new intention to expand your beliefs. Open up a new awareness of your own magnificence, kick pity out the door, implement new ways to add bliss to your everyday- and yes, even learn ways to love some of the things that you now hate.
"If you keep doing what you have always done, you will keep getting what you have always got"
It’s time to stop thinking something is wrong with you, or comparing yourself to others. So stop judging yourself as not measuring up – this all weighs on your confidence, your self acceptance and self love. Because that my dear, is the path of self destruction, self sabotage!
If you don’t know who you are, what you want, where you are going or conscious of how you are 'being' – then the foundation will weaken and crumble over time. Which will feel as if you have failed yourself and others.
However, as women we have amazing abilities and power to create so much wonder in the world. We must believe. We must show up, open the door and say yes to the dance!
When joy is lacking from your life you don’t even notice that another year has gone. The reality is you are getting pushed back further and further from what you are truly here to be, to do or to have.
- Joy is your building block of self esteem – of self love.
- Joy enhances, Improves and ignites juicy relationships.
- Joy catapults success – at work, it’s motivating and inspiring to others.
- Joy keeps you going – gives you energy and you feel alive.
And loving yourself is just as important. Love is a necessary place for joy and pleasure to breed. You feel good about you, treat yourself well – very well – talk nice to yourself, love your body, acknowledge and honor your abilities, believe in your strengths and you are tapped in and tuned on to your feminine power.
When you do these things, you not only rise to the occasion but you raise others up and you continually raise the quality of your life.
Your pleasure is the burning ember to your feminine essence. This feeling of pleasure that will spark the fire within, motivate you to stay true to who you are.
Pleasure may very well be one of the greatest untapped resources on the planet.
Set this intention now, the intention to embody new ways to source your power and pleasure in the creation of your life – from this point to forever. It is yours to be had!
P.S. Remember you are not alone here. At some point every woman needs a re-boost of happiness, clarity, confidence and a new plan to get her back to where she's shining her light bright and making a difference in the lives she touches. However, many women are better at giving than receiving – and the truth is – that is where the unhappiness often starts to set in. It can get hard, confusing and draining of her inner spirit for for far too long. Please allow yourseslf to receive what you need so you keep on the journey of evolvment for the purpose you are here to share. I believe a woman is a Queen and she deserves to receive, as well as, lead like one. Queen coaching is what I call it. Ready to give it a try?