Do you feel like a confident woman? Someone asked me the other day if I thought others understood what I meant when I talked about being a confident woman with feminine power or with feminine energy. My answer was “probably not all.” But some do and more will. I haven’t always understood the meaning behind those words either – the truth is I continue to get it more all the time.
It has been through my own life experiences and personal growth as a confident woman that lead me to this most empowering information which has literally changed my life. (I also say this about the discovery of the law of attraction, which I often talk about.)
I used to think to be a confident woman of having feminine power meant to be a bitch or to force your opinion, to be demanding or a “not take any crap from anyone” kind of attitude. You know, to be like a man in a woman’s body. But that is not at all what I understand now.
Unfortunately, it might be our society that teaches us this dis-empowering description. And why we are so confused at times.
What I know now is it’s not the forcing of our personal power but rather quite the opposite. It is more powerful than a forcing of action on the exterior of our being because it is an internal energy that aligns with our innate being.
I’ve always heard women described in ways of nurturing, passive or emotional. Often the descriptions have a weakness undertone.
When I speak about feminine energy these days I am not speaking toward weakness or force – or only about women.
Most of my life has been in un-awareness of the feminine mystique, but 7 years ago I begin to delve into this topic as it came naturally to me through the intentional seeking of personal improvement in myself and my life.
In my personal experience of becoming a more confident as a woman and diminishing behaviors of low self-esteem has definitely been due to the understanding of BALANCING the feminine and masculine energies within me – and yes we all have both.
Let me explain what it means to be in your masculine or feminine energy along with some of the traits of each.
When a person (male or female) is primarily in masculine energy some of the ways they behave include: aggressive, decisive, logical, protective, competitive, planning, controlling, and end result oriented.
When a person is primarily in feminine energy their characteristics often include: intuitive, cooperative, receiving, emotional, collaborative, flexible, magnetic and journey oriented.
None of these traits are bad or undesirable. In fact, all of these characteristics are beneficial. As you read through both sets of traits, something becomes evident though. Masculine energies are primarily about “doing,” while feminine energies speak to “being.” The key is to understand when each serves us and to be able to identify if we’re out of balance and how to get back in alignment.
I became aware of my ‘out of balance’ while working in a corporate high demanding job. This was also a time when I was divorced and living on my own for the first time in my life. I exhausted from work – although making good money, I would often drive to and from work in tears because it just wasn’t allowing me to be me.
It was a transformational time in my life and I wouldn’t change it for anything – although some of that transformation pushed me out of my comfort zone often while kicking and screaming.
But it also pushed me into being a more confident woman who knows what she wants, knows what to do when things get a little crazy and even understands how to better communicate with men. In fact, I believe this to be the key reason why I am now with my soul mate. I know that we would not have met had I not been on a path to go deeper into building myself first so I could (develop the deeper relationship with my now husband. (I would say it has even turned out to be amazing marriage advice too.)
So when I speak of feminine power or feminine energy, I have a strong belief in the support it can offer women to look a closer within and see if they are out of balance with their own masculine and feminine energy. As women, we are often taught to be like men if we are to be successful. Also, to be stronger in the masculine ways of competition, doing it all ourselves, or being in our ‘head’ all the time.
When we can allow ourselves to receive, to collaborate, and to ‘feel’ before doing, we can begin to de-stress and hear our internal guidance on what actions to take first instead of the other way around.
We can show up in romantic partnerships (and all relationships)more confident in who we are and let him be who he is – this is super important for harmony in love. He does not want to be with a masculine woman in the private moments of our time together.
Are you loving this information as much as I do? With a deeper understanding of ourselves, we really can be the woman we want to be. To exude a confidence that inspires others and allows us to fulfill our dreams and desires.
I am passionate to help you live out your legacy and consciously create a life, career and even your passionate, purposeful business. I’ve had the honor to mentor many women do just that by getting clear, confident and committed on what they really want.
By embracing your feminine leadership and self-mastery skills, the external success comes so much easier. If you are tired of what is not working, let me show you another way. Free consultation available. See all options offered plus testimonies. Ready darling?
Teresa Salhi
The purpose at Empower The Dream is to make a difference in the transformation of women’s lives, supporting them as they tap into their potential, encouraging them to expect more as they open up to her personal power, to become unstoppable, to turn their dreams into reality and finally embody the belief that they the dream maker in their life.
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Teresa, I love this article because you talk about the process of you and your hubby. I’m so inspired by this story. I also appreciate the overview of both the masculine and feminine side of being a confident women. I have both tendencies but feel that I have probably connected more to the masculine energy with my corporate career.
This shift to feminine confidence may explain why so many women are becoming small business owners and online entrepreneurs. More power to us.
In my years in corporate, I had only one boss who treated with respect for my contributions. My confidence soared knowing that someone appreciated me. Never found that again and eventually seguewayed into being an entreprenur.
Hi Teresa, very interesting. It’s so true that many times difficult situations can “force” us to face ourselves and become who we really need to be. I experienced the same as a result of divorce and remarriage. So sad that many find the need to label strong women with the b word. It’s because I’m strong not I’m not a b.
I know and I feel we need to be the ones to reshape the labels and at the at the same time, not give them our un-derserved attention when it does not feel right.
Hey Teresa 🙂
Loved this post! So many aha moments for me as I can totally relate to your journey in so many ways 😉 Thanks for sharing how powerful and confident us women can be without having to be bitchy or mean….we just need to find who we really are and use that knowledge to grow and be who we were meant to be 😉
Excellent share!
You are so welcome Joan – I am delighted you enjoyed it and can relate.
I so agree !! too often we think we have to change to be a woman in business. We just need to see what a confident woman can be using feminine energy ( and that does not mean ‘ hormonal “)
Haha..yes, yes, Terry!
I think you’re on to something, here. Just a few months ago, I heard someone say (as I’ve heard a million times in my life) that he’d hate to see a woman as president because she’d let her hormones get the better of her judgement. To which I replied, “Oh – and the men in power have been doing such a crack-up job? One has to look no further than ISIS beheading children to see what happens when male hormones get out of whack!” Of course, when we were talking about hormones, we were really talking about energies that can get out of whack. When we look at countries in which women have not yet established their energies’ value, the entire population suffers – their economies, civilities, and cultural advancement.
That is so right about the energies and getting out of whack, it is really making more and more sense, isn’t it?
You’ve done an excellent job of explaining the importance of finding a balance Teresa. I tend to naturally lean a bit more toward the masculine side in terms of my personality and outlook, and while I don’t normally follow such things, as Beverley referenced in her comment, my particular astrological sign also has a lot of masculine energy associated with it.
We all have both energies and need both. It is our balance of them and when to be in one more than the other that is most important – regardless if we refer to them as masculine or feminine, yin or yang, etc….
Confidence for me is someone who just “is” Someone who comfortable, compassionate and caring and capable. Walks into the room and you can sense she is comfortable in her own skin. I believe we all have both masculine and feminine within us and the key is to find the balance that is right for us. I personally love men and would love to be the only woman in an all male group. The astrological signs each have a masculine or feminine energy to them too. I do have a lot of masculine energy in my chart.
I do agree that men and women have differing definitions of what confidence is to them. A lot of our society is patriarchal in origins and I also believe we have arrived at a time when the feminine energy is rising on the planet and women are being more revered and accepted on level playing fields. We’ve come a long way and we still have a long way to go, but it is time for a complete revolution when it comes to equality for women and men too. Too many old hierarchal patterns that are finally being dissolved. Thanks Teresa!
Thanks for adding valuable comments to the conversation Beverley, love it!
You are singing my song, girl! That quality you talk about — women emulating men — comes from many decades ago when we were first coming into the workforce in large numbers. Women then felt the only way they could succeed was to be more like men. We even dressed like men back in the day. Remember the huge shoulder pads to make us appear larger? And the ties? Oye! Fortunately, I think women are coming more into their feminine power and not allowing ourselves to be marginalized because of it. We women have high emotional intelligence, which has been proven to provide more collaborative workplaces but to pump up the bottom line, too. It’s all good. Feel your power, ladies, and don’t let anyone try to strip you of it.
Absolutely Jackie!
This is interesting and you bring a great point… that women who are confident, powerful or successful (similar) that we have a different… description than our counterparts (men) who have the similar traits.. Confidence is just feeling good about what you are doing and faith in oneself to KICK ASS. #girlboss lol
Here’s to kicking ass like a girl – HA! Thanks for weighing in Kristen….
Knowing oneself will always bring you into balance. Knowing oneself and being able to express who you are is key to any great relationship. Thanks for sharing.
Yes it is so very important to go on a journey of self discovery – it seems like we would just automatically know ourselves but we tend to get lost in the busy-ness of the world. Self reflection is highly underrated.
Women have so many wonderful traits and it’s sad they sometimes are hidden by the idea females need to be more forceful to succeed. When you have confidence in all you have to offer, you let those traits shine. Another lovely, inspirational post Teresa.
Ah, thanks Tami. That is why I do what I do. Help women to remove the veil of her light and show up in all her glory by knowing what she wants, be aligned to that desire inner and outer and then put the plan together that creates results.
I think confidence is key. You can be empowered without being a mad, crazy woman (or man). Thanks for sharing.
Yes confidence is key – and confidence happens when we truly understand and know ourselves from within first. Thanks for being here Christy.
My sister & I turned out very different under same circumstances. She was gentle, avoided confrontation & I spoke out for us (I was younger too), independant. I had to learn to be softer, vulnerable, more nurturing.There is a balance we each need to find & develop.
What a great balance you 2 were for each other – that is how great relationships work. Thanks Roslyn.
So many of us grew up with the idea pounded into our heads that to be successful, assertive women translated into being aggressive men. You can probably tell my age from this! Lol. But it took me a long time to integrate my anima and animus, and realize that the strength and courage to take care of me came from within.
Great points, Teresa!
I think it still happens today Susan. That is why I still want to share this information and experiences. Love your sharing and courage too!
Wow. I really want to have a dialogue with you. Great article.
Wonderful Jhanelle. I would love that too. Here is my email Teresa@EmpowerTheDream.com