Is your story true or are you telling lies?
You have a story – it’s called your life. A story of good times, hard times, happy times, sad times – in your zone and sometimes zoned out. You really do have a plethora of unique, crazy-wonderful, smart and inspirational life experiences.
We need you and your story. The world needs you. Your story is part of your purpose, your stepping stones to your higher potentials. It is what inspires others. You may not know this yet, but I promise it is true. But I am not talking about that story….just yet.
I am talking about the stories you tell yourself about others.
On our journey of life we encounter people in our path. Thousands of people. Lovers, friends, clients, neighbors, co-workers and more – even the weekly grocery store clerk or taxi cab driver.
They are all part of your journey….and potentially part of the story.
Sometimes the story gets crabby, pissed, disheveled, painful, disappointing…..
- He didn't’t call back – another man who doesn't know how to treat a woman
- She is trying to make me look bad at the office because she's jealous
- She is rude and not a very nice neighbor
- They are cheap and would rather get half-assed help for ‘free’ than pay for my quality services/products
Or what about the stories you tell about yourself?
- I am not as pretty or smart (young, old, thin, etc) as her and quality men don't go for my type
- I don't have a college education and will never get a high paying job
- My neighbor thinks I am weird and doesn't’t like me
- Having a business is hard, I am doing all that I can and not sure I can make this happen. customers
Stories can play in our mind randomly, often and without conscious awareness.
But are they true?
Have you ever caught yourself in a lie? Have you ever made up a story about someone only to find out later they were away on a family emergency (for example) and could not respond, attend, call…etc.
Yikes!
The truth is many of the stories we may be thinking or telling about others and ourselves have potential to be BIG fat lies!
You're not trying to lie. I’m not either. We are doing our best. But it happens. Unfortunately. It's how we really believe or want to believe at that moment.
These stories, lies, untruths are also self-generating.
Which means, those lies are creating our life right now. There is likely a part of your current reality that is based on a big fat lie.
I know, it sucks.
What we think about, how we feel or give our most dominant attention – is what shows up in our physical world.
And that’s the truth. It’s also the law – so says the science of Law of Attraction. The magnet of energy that brings to us what we give our attention too.
Could there be another side to the story you are telling?
- Maybe he broke his leg playing sports and on bed rest.
- Maybe your neighbor is shy and wishes you would say hi.
- Maybe she is so insecure that she works overtime to be noticed.
- Maybe you just need more belief and support on making your business a success.
I mentioned only mere examples, but you get what I mean, right?
Here’s an idea that might help to stop self-generating from the lies that are pretending to be true – but really making your life hell.
The goal is: How can you begin to tell a better story?
Awareness is key. Whenever you catch yourself telling a story – and I am talking about something not so nice, something that makes you angry, hurts you, upsets you, belittles you …….ask yourself
1. Is this really true? Do I know this for certain?
2. Is there something in this situation that I can learn about myself?
3. How can I see this differently?
4. Have I ever done this?
Get into a habit of journaling these questions. Question the stories. Write out the answers. The stories of them, of you.
Journaling allows you to go deeper into your soul. It is private, releasing, exploring, provides soul guidance and can be life changing. Seriously, it is that powerful.
Self awareness is about becoming whole. When we don't embrace or try to hide our untruths, lies and made up stories – they eventually come out anyway. Often sideways and crazy, hurtful or with unexpected consequences.
Every story we tell is a reflection of ourselves, good bad and in-between.
I will leave you with this thought and your own self exploration. I'll be back soon to talk about that other story. The one that is your true gift of life.
Dream big, darling…
Teresa Salhi
A positive corner of the Internet that provides thousands of women much needed resources, inspiration and useful strategies to prioritize their heartfelt dreams in their personal lives or purposeful careers and businesses.
Great topic !!! As I’ve been touching on this very subject as of late with the couple of TRUE friends I got left that I trust explicitly and confide in. As I’ve made Changes, matured, learned from experiences both GOOD 🙂 and maybe some bad. I’ve been noticing others around me and their need to simply embelish everything! By no means am I a saint, and have been guilty of FIBBIN as much as anyone, but I had a ephinany when I turned 30 and simply decided to start telling the truth!!!! Both to the outside world, and most importantly to myself internally!!!! This is the part that takes work, and a real honest inventory of yourself, an accurate sense of self awarness, when start to truly understand yourself and what you are…dorky….plump…cocky….shy …your real strengths and weaknesses
It’s quite liberating when you stop being worried about your perceived image and understand your REAL image ( inside).When this enlightenment is achieved is becomes SOOOOO apparent when others around you are struggling with this causing them to weave a mask of FIBS☺
I now sit back and smile internally when someone is unable to look me in the eye as they tell some fairy tale of 14 truth ….
I realize your group is for women it would appear? I hope a males perspective is indeed invited.
Hello Jacob. Dear God please bless this man 🙂 What a powerful and authentic realization and sharing of your journey Jacob. Yes, my blog speaks to women but we are all in this together and the same applies to men on this topic. Thank you for sharing and the inspiration that others will likely gleen from your comments.
Its funny how we have the need to tell a story related to an event that we don’t have all the facts about. The brain doesn’t like uncertainly or incompleteness and will fill in the blanks with possible scenarios – usually of a negative nature. How many times do we find ourselves getting mad or disappointed only to find out that something else was affecting circumstances that we had no way of knowing about? I believe they call having “egg on your face.”
So true Joyce….
I’ve seen how telling our stories can draw people to us, gather sympathy, make a friend. What we don’t realize it that the exaggerated story puts us in the victim mentality. Let’s learn to separate fact from fiction so we don’t lead our life from distortions.
Yes, I agree Rosalyn. Thanks for your valuable input.
Telling stories is in our DNA. If mother nature didn’t want us to tell stories, we wouldn’t dream at night. Now, the issue of believing our tales – that’s another matter! Your article offers great insight. I think I should probably take your advice and start journaling. It’s less expensive than a psychiatrist (paper & pen are cheap) and probably much more productive!
Yes Joan, journaling is a wonderful activity to do – not only productive but life changing. I recommend it highly
We human beings LOVE to spin stories, and as you’ve pointed out so wonderfully Teresa, often they are not even true. Being a Landmark person, I’ve learned to ask “What is so?” In other words what are the facts…not our interpretation of the facts or the story we have created about the facts. Once we are aware of the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves and others, we have the opportunity to recreate our story, or create a brand new one. Thanks for the wonderful post, very important for us all to become conscious of our stories. Awareness is the first step!
I totally agree with your statement, “Is there something in this situation that I can learn about myself?” I think we all make up stories about others to help us deal with our situation at the moment. I like to remind myself that everyone has their own issues and stuff they need to deal with. It makes me be more empathetic toward others and what they are dealing with.
That is a wonderful reflection Sabrina, thank you for your comments.
I stopped and reread something several times that was right at the beginning, Teresa. “We need you and your story. The world needs you.” We do need every individual and the unique things we all bring to this planet. I like the list of questions to ask yourself to tell a better story. I’m not sure we even realize that we’ve accepted the lies about ourselves at times and how that can stop us from being who we were meant to be. Thanks for the reminder of the power of self-awareness!
I enjoyed your comments too Meghan. We really do need to be more of who we are meant to be. Thank you for taking the time to reflect back.
Neat story! lol Seriously I do believe that if we are more positive that we may see more positive in life. I do have trouble believing the entirety of the Law of Attraction… like how can I be asking for bad things to happen to me, when they are completely out of my control. Anyways, I do believe that we really need to focus on the good in things, or let it go.
I know – we don’t intentionally ask for bad things, right? I really has to do with an inner feeling – it is our feeling that is energetic. Like when you pass by someone and although you never spoke to them – you picked up their feeling that they were upset or mad or something like that. That is what LOA picks up too. For sure a positive way is ideal!!
It’s true. We come up with stories and so often don’t think about it anymore. Your advice to think about what you’ve made up or assumed and ask if it’s true or if there is another way of looking at it or find the actual truth is so helpful. I’m sure we all need to work on this.
Thank you for this great post and for this quote “The truth is many of the stories we may be thinking or telling about others and ourselves have potential to be BIG fat lies!” It is so true, I work hard at staying positive. Sometimes my brain monkey demons get the better of me. Something will happen and I think the worst and create this huge story in my head and it becomes my truth… when I finally see what really happened it is the furthest thing from the truth I created in my head!
Yes for sure Karen, I get it! 🙂 Let’s ban together and stop those BIG FAT LIES and onward with our greatness! 🙂
So true, Teresa! Especially the lies we tell ourselves. And I just LOVE your tips on How can you begin to tell a better story? The “Is this really true? Do I know this for certain? questions have been a great litmus test for me.
Thank you for this!
Wonderful to hear Susan. The better the questions we ask the better we can become.