Over the summer I opened the doors for taking on new coaching clients and I've learned so much from all the initial discover sessions. First of all I want to say that I've talked to women via email, phone, chat and in person – and I'm so grateful to be surrounded by such an amazing tribe of people.
Interestingly enough, there’s been one thing that I noticed in interaction after interaction that I wanted to dedicate in today's blog. And it’s a core distinction which I believe truly separates those who are succeeding from those are struggling in life and business.
And that is… your choice of language.
I've talked about this before and I make a big deal about in the new I CHOOSE CONFIDENCE free ecourse.
Our words define our reality… 
And you can either use words as an open door that can help you get from where you are NOW to where you want to go…. Or as a closed door that is constantly blocking your own path.
It goes for your interactions with other people too. You can use words can be a door to to connect with your prospects, your customers and your tribe or as a closed door that gets in the way of connection and intimacy, and prevents you from getting what you most want.
All of us use these destructive “closed door” words at one time or another — when we’re angry or frustrated, stressed or overwhelmed… and mostly without even realizing it we undermine what we say we want, and what we wish for in life.
The danger is when you start to use the “closed door” words on a daily basis to convince yourself of things that just are not’t true.
That you’re “not ready”. That you “don’t have the money”. Or you “don’t have enough time”. Or pretty much any “reason” you can come up that prevents you from having the life you want.
And it’s an incredibly subtle thing… so that’s why I’I've compiled this handy list of “closed door” words and “open door” words to print out so that you can become more aware of the way you literally speak yourself into success or struggle on a daily basis.
Open Door
|
Closed Door
|
I am (open to new possibilities)
I am (ready, excited)
How can I? (afford this)
I will
I have (resources, ideas, time)
I’m as ready as I’I'll ever be
I’m committed to (moving forward)
I’m excited about
I love (making a difference)
I’m willing to (learn)
I’m grateful for .....
I love
I imagine
|
I am (broke, sick)
I’m not (ready, able)
I can’t afford this
I won’t
I don’t (time, know what to do)
I’m not ready
I feel (stuck, overwhelmed)
I’m frustrated
I hate (sales, marketing)
I’m not good at (technology)
I wish I had more
If hate
That’s impossible
|
Over the last two months, I took on a few amazing new clients. Women who are facing their fears and doing it anyway!
I also had long conversations with women who were touched and moved by the recommendations or referrals to work with me as their coach, wanting to take their business or life to the next level, feeling the need for support, desiring so much more…..and yet, they had long excuses (full of “closed door” words) as to why they couldn't’t take the next step and really commit to their dreams.
It’s like some were asking my permission to give up on their hopes and dreams.
I understand what is happening inside. The mind has a part that wants to keep you in a familiar "comfort zone" and that is is how it keeps you safe. This is how playing small happens, seems like you are making logical decisions but the decisions is made from only what is known and not from a higher perspective.
I could not give her permission to stay small if she has bigger dreams.
I would say things or email back things like:
I am so glad to hear you were moved and inspired to reach out. I hear you say that you’re struggling right now and unable to move forward with your business/life in the way that you’d like to, and I appreciate you sharing your situation.
However, if you’re expecting me to validate your choice and give you permission not to move forward, I can’t do that. At Empower The Dream, I believe that you can create the life you want, no matter what’s going on.
I believe there aren't ’t any excuses that can pull you away from living to your highest potential.
No matter what’s going on in your life, I'm here to support you in opening the door to new possibilities and a mindset that shifts “I can’t” to “I can”.
I believe in in you even when you don’t believe in you.As they say, what you focus on expands.
When you focus on problems, then you’you'll have more problems. When you focus on possibilities, then you’you'll have more opportunities.I invite you to focus on the possibility and potential in your life now, especially now.
So I invite you to become aware of the words you’re using… are you opening doors to where you want to be? Or are you closing doors to having anything more come into your life?
Are you focusing on problems? Or possibilities?
You can do whatever you set your mind to…
Dream Big
Teresa Salhi
P.S. If now is your time to Create the Lifestyle or new Business You Know you are meant for ….there’s still a possibility to work together.
I offer one-time Super Soul Sessions, 6 Week Clarity + Empowerment + Personal Game Plan Sessions or 120 Day Life / Biz Overhaul Intensives. Short and sweet or long-term support; you choose. Either way — you’you'll notice a huge and positive impact on your life.
LEARN MORE HERE
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Teresa, it’s wonderful that you put the comparison list together. I can think of several people to send this to. I write out a manifest list. I put eveything on the list I’m looking for or want to accomplish. The only thing I have to do next is watch for the opportunity to present itself. It’s been working like a charm for years.
I am please to hear you find this beneficial and want to share Joyce. Yes on seeing new opportunities!
This is so right on. Your words are truly powerful. I have learned to be conscious of my thoughts and words. It is a matter of being aware.
Yes, awareness is so much the key here, Lorii.
True, that words can unconsciously hinder you…I feel like a person who is most often open minded, I do not block out possibilities…however another person I talked to made me notice I used some block word every now and then. Nice article. 🙂
Thank you Katarina and wonderful to have someone supporting you too.
Super tips Teresa and often times that closed door is due to some speed bump we are putting out there too.
For sure, here’s to leveling the speed bumps!:)
You are right on Teresa on using the right kind of words to determine what kind of life you would love to have 🙂 It is all how you talk to yourself as well 🙂 Using the right words makes a HUGE difference! Thanks for your inspirational post!! LOVED IT!
You are most welcome Joan, thank you for your lovely feedback.
Excellent points. There’s a massive difference between scarcity thinking and abundance thinking. And they both impact our lives. You get more of what you focus on.
We sure do Jackie…thanks for being here!
The way we talk makes such a difference and an impact on how we think too. I am all for the motive thinking too. All that negativity can drag you down and the people around you too.
Thanks for this great post and reminding us to push through and have more confidence to do so.
Yes, and impacts what shows up in our lives. Thanks for being here Sonya.
Thanks for the reminder to be highly conscious of what words we use when we are talking to ourselves or to others, Teresa. I can get caught up in ‘closed door’ words at times and am grateful when people point it out to me. Yesterday I was talking with a friend about meeting men and said something like “Why does everyone else seem to be able to meet men and I don’t?” She reminded me to flip my perspective and ask something along the lines of “what is the perfect circumstance for me to meet men?”… It is easier to see ‘closed door’ talking in other people, and it takes practice to observe ourselves and to stay in the positive.
What a great example of how to reframe that question Beverley. I have another one for you. Ask questions with “what would it take” at the beginning too…. Just like the question you reframed….we ask in a positive way it not only sets the intention but the brain – and universe – get busy looking for the answers.
I love that you give the comparison words! Our words shape us and our direction, whether we say them out loud or not.
You are welcome Mindyi – thanks for being here.
This is great Teresa. Our words are so powerful and many times we’re not even aware of what we’re saying to sabotage ourselves. We need to stay mindful and your list really helps with that.
Yes, staying mindful is of utmost importance.
Ah, so very true–words have such power. And the ones we use become mantras in our own heads. Knowing I can create positively or negatively with equal power, I choose the positive way. Thanks, Teresa!
We definitely want our life mantra to be of words that lift us up and empower our life
What a great article, Teresa. I appreciate you including these words as a guide. It’s SO true that we CHOOSE our life. I’m very aware of the language I use and this guide will help me hone my language even more.
Yes of course – thank you Tandy.
I love that you added a list in this article, Teresa. So often we use closed door words without even realizing it. This highlights the importance of being mindful of our conversations, especially those to ourselves. We realkly do need to focus on the possibilities.
You’re welcome Tami – I feel the same way. Thank you!