PERSONAL STORY. About MOJO. How I got mine back.
What is MOJO anyway? Other than a fun word to use, maybe more like confidence, stride, lady boss-ness that I am really referring to. You know the kinda feeling that women like us often have somewhere in the spectrum of “GOT IT GOING ON ” to “WHY THE HELL IS EVERYTHING GOING WRONG IN MY LIFE?
This was at a time when I had a high demanding corporate job and peers who were always playing the “CLIQUE CARD.” To be with “THE” group you had to go to lunch together and bitch or make fun of all others who weren’t there. No, this was not even HIGH SCHOOL.
It was grueling and not my thing. Opting out of lunch ONLY MADE THINGS WORSE of course because I was eventually not in the clique anymore. Yea, good for me as I could not stand the backstabbing but not so good for me when it came to the boss meetings and EVERYONE SEEMED to have a part of the backstory about that dreadful client (I previously volunteered to take on, UGH) but I did not know.
Sure made it hard to answer those demanding questions in the meeting and when all eyes are looking my way. Oh, how I remember those times going back to my office and closing the door WITH TEARS IN MY EYES and determined to NOT TO BE LIKE THEM – painful it was indeed.
And to top off with having more stress at home with the (then) LOVE OF MY LIFE feeling disconnected with my (not his) only beloved child. One thing led to another and even after 3 years still having honeymoon love with him, I was asked to make other living arrangements for my child.
SERIOUSLY? Can you just ask me to cut off my arm, my leg and MY HEART?
HOW can this all show up at the same time? In one moment, I am high flying, feminine genius at work and loving my new life – and in the BLINK OF AN EYE, it comes crashing down…
Oh, I could go on and on of all the devastating chip by chipping away at the PIECES OF ME. Couldn’t figure it out. Didn’t know who to talk too – as I was the strong one the one who had it going on – until I no longer did.
I hid, I cried, I prayed, I cursed. I lost it.
Until I decided to DO SOMETHING ELSE. I listened to my spirit say you need to get a new circle of support that didn’t include him or them. AND I DID JUST THAT.
I eventually joined a running team and ran my first MARATHON after 6 months of group training, yes 26.2 long ass miles that left me raw, but also with an upleveling of my strength INSIDE and OUT.
I raised thousands for charity, I traveled around the world by myself – and so much more.
My MOJO comes and goes to this day, but I NOW KNOW – the answers are inside me. I seek. I listen. I ask again and I LISTEN DEEPER.
I’ve come to learn that our inner strength our confidence is built upon DAY BY DAY. We live, we learn and we keep growing…and we are never done.
Here’s to keeping it real with our MOJO!!
Can you guess which is me in the pic?