Have you ever wondered do you love yourself enough to be happy and fulfilled? Self-love isn’t a small thing. You are the person you spend the most time with. And now imagine that the person who is with you 24/7 is constantly putting you down, calling you bad names, telling that you are not good enough… This negative attitude towards yourself can stop you from feeling comfortable and being successful. The only solution is to start giving yourself more credit. But since we all know you can’t force love, how exactly can you learn to love yourself? Here are a few ways.
Avoid being a people pleaser
We are all guilty of seeking validation from other people sometimes, and while it is okay to ask people you trust for advice, changing your decision and who you are just to please others only leads to self-loathing and disappointment. You should never allow others to dictate the person you ought to be, no matter whether we are talking about your parents, friends, co-workers or strangers. Accept who you are and spend time with people who accept that too.
Get to know yourself
Most of the people in this world are so preoccupied with their jobs, relationships and getting to know other people that they forget to discover their true selves in the process. To be aware of who you really are, you can discover your strengths and weaknesses, learn what you’re good at and what you are doing badly. In that process, you shouldn’t judge yourself. Instead, embrace your flaws as an integral part of your personality.
Don’t be too harsh on yourself
Now that you know your flaws, you should also be aware that you will make a lot of mistakes on the test called life ad journey to self-love. but when that happens you shouldn’t be too harsh on yourself. Forgive yourself, treat yourself nicely and kindly, be compassionate and learn how to tell yourself: “It’s okay. You’ll do better next time.” This is the safest road towards self-love.
Don’t stress out
Stress is a silent killer, and besides hurting your health, it also leaves marks on your psyche which can pile up and ruin all the self-love you’ve been constructing. Find an effective way to cope with stress and negative thoughts. Remember, that way is different for everyone. Some people will search for their peace with yoga, others will find their joy jumping up and down in a fun indoor trampoline park, while some will read a book or meditate.
Do you take yourself for granted? We all do that sometimes, but it is crucial to realize that you give a certain contribution to this world and that there are plenty of things in your life you can be grateful about. Are you a good friend? That’s the most important thing you can be. Did you make anyone laugh today? Good job! Is your hair naturally curly? Wow, you lucky girl!
Refrain from always trying to “fit in”
Our need to fit into a community is artificially created to make us feel uncomfortable in our skin and to suppress our uniqueness. Don’t be one of the girls and one of the guys, be the girl or the guy. Don’t obey the media and society rules about the perfect body or the right age to settle down, it’s rarely focused on self-love and likely more on self-loathing. Make your own rules that suit your unique personality, and don’t be afraid to face the world and say: “Yeah, that’s me, and what you’re going to do about it?”
Be in a positive crowd
Freud once said that “before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not surrounded by jerks.” It is true that people we spend a lot of time with can motivate us to foster self-acceptance or make it harder for us to embrace our self-love. Spend time with people who have high self-esteem or are working on building one. Choose friends who appreciate you for who you are, and it will be easier for you to accomplish all of the above.
If you love and respect yourself for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, you will live happily ever after, and be your own knight in shining armor and the ruler of your empire.
Tracey Clayton is a full-time mom of three girls. She’s passionate about traveling, fashion and healthy living. Her motto is: “Live the life you love, love the life you live.”
Hi, I’m Teresa Salhi, founder of Empower The Dream. I hope you enjoyed our latest blog by the talented and lovely Ms. Tracey Clayton. Empower The Dream is dedicated to supporting to live their most delicious life. We reach women around the world with our online courses, video classes, VIP days, and one-on-one Queen Coaching.